General:
Wheather: wet cold, snow, just below zero
Moon: day 8 (waxing – half full + 1)
Cycle: day 4 (mild bleeding, no cramps, mild paranoia)
Discipline:
Waking up: half an hour late (5:32)
Pilates: yes
Biking: yes
Fruits: yes
Writing: yes
Work: no
Minutiae:
Yesterday Moufflon’s friend and colleague died. He immediately went over to help out friend’s wife. Butterfly stayed home by herself. She was all shakey. But she said she was very proud of Moufflon – and she said she understood now why he got the job that he has. He is there for people when they need him to be there for them.
Hare phoned me and told me about her new palace. It sounds beautiful. I told her about friend’s death. She phoned Butterfly as well, she’s sweet. Partis is going to build a table for their new home.
Rock kept stroking my hair and kissing me and asking me if I was alright. It was very pleasant. Louis was utterly cuddly too.
I had thought of Bear’s death the whole time when I was driving home by train yesterday. Strangely enough. Bear keeps recovering and living, and others in seemingly more fortunate positions drop away.
I got up a little late this morning. It was quite late yesterday. This keeps happening. Anyhow, I did do my pilates, and I took the dog for an appropriate walk, and I showered, and I got to the train when the light was still green. The train was mildly full. Just to the point of it still being nice. The bus wasn’t overloaded either. A woman sat next to me who was clearly disgusted by my close proximity. She kept shifting and twitching.
I arrived at Ivory Towers early and have since had zip-all to do. Nobody needs me for anything, and nobody particularly cares about me being here or not. I generally feel underqualified and unappreciated. Which is not the best of mood’s but there you have it.
I talked to CareBear about her recent trip to FarAway. She had loved it, but she was glad to be home. I handed her my work and generally made an ass of myself by being totally apologetic about all the details and things I could have done better. Shiiiit. Just hand it over and shut up. Enough of my insecurities.
Cinderella and I discussed Oddie today. It seems like she is not coming back for a while. We talked about how a burn out must feel. Neither one of us has thankfully experienced one before, but Cinderella does have some experience with bouts of severe depression. It must be quite similar. Thank flip I don’t know. Or maybe not, maybe I could help Rock out more if I did.
Rock phoned me around lunch to tell me that Louis isn’t eating his food again. And now he’s not eating snacks either. She is very worried. Also she has her heart set on moving house. And I don’t want to. In a deep rooted sense I don’t want to. Not the hassle, and not another home. I love our home the way it is and the place it is and everything. Then again, I’m not there 24/7.
I will have to phone the vet at 15:00 – or else first Rock again to see if Louis is eating yet. I hate spending money in vain. But let’s not have another argument about that one. i feel so stupid, because I already know what the vet is going to say. That’s fine; that’s just Louis. See if he eats tonight. And maybe bring him in tomorrow. Yaddayadda for no good reason. or so I hope. I feel like an overprotective owner. And I’m not. i’m just the mouth of the overprotective owner.
Don’t stand in the light to create a shadow they say. maybe I should let Rock’s light fall through me, and make myself so thin that she can be seen through me. That way I’m really just a messenger, and not a disturbance on the line.
